Super Nannie is getting married

My mother in law rocks.  Really she does.  Her impression of Tina Turner, complete with wig, heels and air guitar is, to quote Tina, Simply the Best.  She makes great roast dinners and scrumptious birthday cakes.  She loves a party and the chance to dance.  Despite being widowed at just 42 and being floored with grief she picked herself up and made sure her children’s lives were full of fun and love.  She’s now doing the same for her grandchildren.  She is Super Nannie.

Two years ago Super Nannie found love when she wasn’t looking for it on the golf course with a lovely man, also a widower, who shares her sense of love, fun and loyalty.  They may be in their sixties but they feel like teenagers again, says Super Nannie.  And then she winks.   This summer, twenty years since she was widowed, Super Nannie is getting married to Lovely Man.

When I tell people this, their inital response is almost always the same.  “How lovely!”  Followed swiftly by “Does your husband mind?”  For the record my husband is very happy for his mother and Lovely Man.  Ok, her social diary is now fuller which makes her a little less available for babysitting duty and the first time she denied him the last piece of chocolate roulade because she was saving it for Lovely Man it came as a bit of shock but this is a tiny price to pay for Super Nannie being Super Happy which is exactly what she deserves.

I’ve now started to ask people what they mean when they ask if he minds.  Some people mean does he mind his mother finding a replacement for his father?  He does not.  Aged 36 and a father himself he does not in any way see Lovely Man as a replacement father but rather a bonus grandfather for our children.  However, what other people mean is does he mind, you know about the money and well, his mother’s house?  He does not care in the least.  Super Nannie’s house belongs to Super Nannie.  She can do with it as she pleases.  He would not give a strawberry fluff if she were to sell it and live it up with Lovely Man until every last penny of equity is spent.   Just so long as they don’t move in with us.

Super Nannie has got herself a fab wedding frock, an off the shoulder number which is all bride and not at all grandmother.  She is going to look amazing.   And we shall all of us dance all night at her wedding to celebrate that the best thing in life really is free.

Superwoman by E J Catering – Bristol Zoo

On Sunday I took Molly and Jake to Bristol zoo. The sun was shining; the monkeys were jumping through the branches of the trees, balancing themselves with their huge orange curly tails. The flamingos flounced about with their heads foraging in the water for food and the lions slept in a shady spot, but that did not stop Molly giving them her biggest and best roar. Though the animals were amazing we spent just as much time smelling the flowers, beautiful large blooms and well kept borders. Some of the buds smelt tarty, some smelt like bathroom freshener and some smelt just like a British summer should, bringing back child hood memories for myself of playing in the garden when I was Molly’s age. The aquarium was a hit with Jake, it was very peaceful and tranquil, I balanced him against a low shelf and he just stared into the abyss of water and the many different shapes, colours and sizes of fish as they gently swam by the window inches from his face and small learning eyes. We had a lovely wee picnic on the grass where cheeky sparrows nicked bread sticks from the kids and Molly chased them away in toddler style! I bought a chocolate chip cookie from the shop to supplement our picnic. It was dry and uninteresting and with disappointment I chewed on some dried pineapple I had which made me think of this: Basic and totally adaptable cookie dough 115gr softened butter 100gr golden caster sugar 1 large free range egg 100gr plain flour 20gr porridge oats ½ teaspoon baking powder 100gr dried pineapple – cut into chunky chunks 50gr white chocolate drops or broken pieces In a bowl mix all the ingredients together with a hand whisk, stir in the pineapple and white chocolate chunks with a wooden spoon, roll into a sausage shape and wrap in cling film, chill for a couple of hours. This can be done a day in advance, when ready pre heat the oven 180oc gas 4 and cut the sausage shaped cookie mixture into 1 cm slices, cook on a greased baking tray with space between the cookies to allow them to spread. Bake for 8 minutes or until the edges are golden, cool before eating. The tart juicy pineapple in contrasts with the sweet white chocolate and the buttery fresh cookie melts in your mouth with a homely feeling and the taste of a slightly tropical summer. I think you may find this latest creation on our buffets for a bit, they are delicious, I know I am eating one now! Ideal for any picnic or sandwich box and with the monkeys not allowed them that makes all the more for you

Superwomen (and supermen) falling from grace

Can I tell you what really gets me about all this kerfuffle involving MP’s expenses?  It’s not the fact that they can claim an extra £24,222  income so long as they call it a second home allowance.  It’s not even the fact that MP’s voted for said allowance to be tax free and then fought hard not to have to disclose their expenses.  No what gets me is the fact they have time to get involved with so much renovation and repair work on their various houses, be they first, second or third homes.  That they seem to shop such a lot, like Phil Hope who apparently managed to buy £37,500 worth of kit for his second home between May 2004 and February 2008.   I have a full time job and two children and come the weekend I think my husband and I have done pretty well if over and above a kick around in the garden with the kids we have between us managed a dash round the supermarket, a few loads of laundry and to have reunited all the various bits of Polly Pocket that our daughter has sprinkled round the house.   Three years ago when we moved house  my mother in law gave us a load of old curtains that she fished out of her attic ”to keep you going until you have time to get something better”.    Of course there never has been time to get something better and those old curtains are still hanging at our windows to this day.  How on earth then do MP’s find the time to choose, let alone physically go out and buy, so much stuff?  Beds, curtains, TV’s, saucepans, kitchen accessories.  Keith Vaz spent £500 on 22 cushions for heaven’s sake.    Who needs 22 cushions?  Then there’s all the renovation work,  remembering to change round your second home when the renovation work is done so you can claim for the next renovation on yet another house all the while managing your various contractors AND having to put in your receipts.   The paperwork alone must take forever.   I mean how do they find time to actually do their MP work?  All that voting and attending constituency clinics and yet somehow still manage to find time to pore over the John Lewis catalogue and the Farrow and Ball paint chart.  Honestly MP’s really must be superwomen and supermen mustn’t they?

Sorry what was that?  You mean they pay family members at tax payers’ expense to do this sort of administrative work for them?  So they even spend our money to spend our money?  But it’s within the published rules you say?   Oh well!  That’s OK then.     

Yes, what really bugs me about this expenses kerfuffle is that I’ve finally realised that at the heart of being an MP nowadays is not looking after their constituents’ interests.  It’s looking after their own.

Superwoman by E J Catering – The Pandora

It seems like a life time ago but I was once free of children, responsibility, business and bills.  I took advantage of those years and travelled extensively. Being a chef I found it easy to pick up interesting and well paid jobs.  It worked particularly well for me in Australia where I spent 13 months.  I cooked for a very wealthy family in Sydney, spent 3 months on a tropically hot barbeque grill on a beautiful island just off the barrier reef and, the day after my 21^st birthday, I flew to a cattle ranch the size of Wales and cooked for the helicopter pilots and their families on the homestead, but that’s another story altogether.  I also spent four weeks at sea on the “Ocean spray”, an ugly 54 foot red tanker, cooking for 42 surface supply divers, archaeologists and researchers. We -  well they -  were diving onto the HMS Pandora which sank in 1813 under Captain Bly after it ran aground on a reef following a battle with the French.   Our expedition brought up the original cauldron as well as coins, crockery, cutlery, lamps, all pieces from a particular life and time.  I laid the table for our dinner around these amazing bits of history while “David Attenborough” moments were happening outside. Flying fish landed on the deck and we would sweep them back in; albatrosses would rest on the mast on their long migrations; a whale shark stayed with us for about 2 days, which was actually terrifying for me, it was just too huge to be a passive vegetarian! At night we anchored behind a small sand quay where on one occasion thousands of baby turtles hatched and swam to the light, to us. Dolphins jumped at breakfast and the phosphorous sparkled on their skin in the dark.

My galley kitchen was tiny and my freezer huge!   The hungry crew loved my old fashioned Shepherds’ pie.

 Serves 4

1 red onion, peeled and chopped

2 carrots, peeled and chopped

2 courgettes , chopped

4 chestnut mushrooms

4 cloves of garlic

250gr ground beef

250gr ground lamb – ask your local butcher

Splash of red wine

Beef stock

Tomato puree

In a large pan place the chopped onion, carrot, courgette, mushroom and garlic and cook till soft. Turn up the heat and add the minced meat, hear a sizzle, allow to brown, season well with salt and pepper.  Add the tomato puree, wine and stock.  Turn down the heat and simmer for half an hour.

The top is a kilo of good creamy mash. Mix together half potato and half sweet potato peeled and boiled for 20 minutes in salted water with a sprig of rosemary. Drain and remove the rosemary then mash, or push through a ricer.  Add plenty of butter and season.  Pipe or spread and fork the mash over the top and bake for 25 minutes in an oven 180oc or until the mash is beginning to turn golden brown and the mince is bubbling around the edges. 

Serve with peas and tomato ketchup, ring the diving bell and call them all in!

Four day week

Bank holidays are marvellous.  One extra day in a weekend makes such a difference doesn’t it?  Especially when the sun shines, a bit at least.    It means you get one day for boring domestic jobs, one day for lounging around and reading the paper/watching telly and one day to do something fun with the family.   We spent our lounging around day watching sport on telly – Celtic Crusaders getting beaten by Huddersfield Giants and Cardiff Blues getting pipped at the penalty posts by Leicester Tigers while commiserating with Cardiff City for not getting to the play offs.  Not a good day for Welsh sport sadly although nothing will put my lot off being supporters.     Our fun day was spent having a barbecue with friends and letting our children run riot in the garden while we sipped Cava and Mr S flipped burgers.    I’d bought one of those giant bubble wands for my 4 year old daughter from a pound shop (gosh those places have great bargains – check them out!) but the bubble solution was pretty weak and the bubbles popped.  “Hang on”,  I said to her,  “I’ll top it up with a bit of Fairy Liquid.” A good squeeze of the green stuff and enormous, durable bubbles ensued.  Daughter was delighted.    “Mum,” she said “Fairies  know how to make really great bubbles don’t they?”  Now she thinks that magical girly creatures with wings make our washing up liquid. 

When I put my ten year old to bed last night he said “I’ve had a marvellous weekend, Mum.  I wish every weekend was a bank holiday weekend.”   So do I.  But of course for a number of employees across the UK a four day week is now very much part of working life because one of the ways that employers have saved cost in this recession but managed to avoid redundancies is to invite their employees to cut down to a four day week and take a 20% pay cut.   80% salary is of course much better than no salary at all especially when it comes with an extra day off  (quite a number of employees have been asked to take pay cuts but to nevertheless still work their normal hours).  So what would you do with an extra day off in the week,  bearing in mind your salary has plummeted 20% and you’re now having to watch the pennies very carefully?   I know what I’d do.  I’d get myself down to Barry Island with the kids and get busy with the fairy bubbles.  And pick something up for tea from Aldi on the way home.